Being Present.

Lately I've been starting to think about New Year's Resolutions. My first idea was to make a change to positively impact the environment (or, less negatively) for each member of our family. 5 actions over the next 12 months. Seems doable. I think I will do it.

However, as I was pondering the idea, I got the most recent bit of sad news from within my group of family and friends. This year has been exceedingly laden with sad / bad news. I remember the feeling of once being impervious to the big d's (death, disease, divorce). Suddenly I feel surrounded by them. My girlfriend, Twyla, and I were discussing last night why we think this is. My best guess is age. Ask anyone in their late 30s and older and they would likely know a handful of people currently grieving a loss, fighting a disease, or going through a divorce.

In any event, whatever the bad news coming from my circle, time and time again it has brought me to the same place. Be PRESENT. Be present in your relationships, and tell / show your spouse / partner / parent / sibling that you love them often. Be present with your children. Smell their heads, look in their eyes, and memorize who they are today because NOW is when you are lucky enough to get to be their parent. There are no guarantees. Be present in your life and do the things you want to do, because no one is making any promises about your own health and longevity, either. Be present, and be appreciative.

So I think my resolution is going to be a combo deal. I'm going to try to do the environment thing, because it is the right thing to do. But I'm also going to really really focus on ways to be present in my life and in the lives of those I love.

Sending love and healing to those of you who need it. I know you will do the same when I do.

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Reviving the Blog... Reflections on Birth

I'm reviving the Blog. I'm doing it. Now.

Our Blog started out about 10 years ago as a static web page. I believe the first post featured our dear friend Tom Godfrey smoking a cigarette while proselytizing the importance of a smoking ban. We've come a looo-ooong way, baby. (A house, 2 dogs, a marriage and THREE babies, to be specific.)

Our family pictures can now always be found on our Shutterfly page (www.scherercentral.shutterfly.com), and they won't be posted here, except when I just have to have a photo to back up my words. Here, you will be blessed with my musings as a mom, a wife, a corporate business and technology consultant and business owner, a pet owner, a reader, a gardener, a sister, an auntie, a daughter, a crazy-person, a friend, an avid photo-taker, a consumer of technology, pop culture, fashion, and more.

Let me begin with what is dominating my thoughts this week. OUR BABY GIRL IS TURNING ONE! Our last baby. One. Also, my awesome BFF from college, Terri Richardson Chaseley kindly recently reminded me and another amazing BFF from college, Kelly Schmuldt Foster, that our child-bearing years are over. And they went fast. I'll admit that one stung. That brings me to the following post... which focuses on child birth, and how we got to where we are.

Our first baby (our Ullrich Michael) was the result of a 72 hour labor with the dreams of a natural birth dashed by a cesarean section. That experience is remembered as a time of Me, Ron (my partner, not yet hubby!), and our awesome doula, Emme Corbeil (www.trilliummidwives.com) against the world. Ron and I learned so much, and this experience colored the rest of our child bearing years (There is that phrase again! Really? Over???!!!). We were in awe (okay, perhaps it was sleep deprivation shock) as Emme helped us understand and protect our rights. Rights such as:

• The right to be treated for maternal exhaustion more than 24 hours into your labor, without submitting to induction via pitocin.
• The right to fully understand our choices through the process, and to make informed decisions.(Who here didn’t know Ron is a badass? I’m here to tell you)
• The right for me to not be alone in the operating room while Ron was with our baby.
• The right to refuse formula feeding our almost ELEVEN pound newborn because the nurses didn't care for his recessed jaw's way of latching.

(PS - We also learned such awesome medical terms as ‘occiput posterior’ and ‘acynclitic’ – thanks Ulls.)

Our second baby (Our Cadel Alana) was born naturally (woot!) in the hospital - also known as VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). We had the great fortune of finding a group of midwives (the Park Nicollet Meadowbrook Midwives) who were backed by an awesome OB who all believed that natural birth after cesarean is not only possible, but in many cases the best option. For this birth we had what we thought at the time was the 'dream team' - Ron (now officially the hubby!), Emme, and the PN midwives. We delivered our Girl in 36 hours, which included 2 hours in transition (if you have ever been dilated to 9cm w/o pain meds, you know what I'm saying here). Takeaways:

• The first moments with your vaginally delivered baby are so much more tangible and memorable than with your c-section baby. Does this mean I love Cadel more than Ullrich? That notion is LUDICROUS - of course not. But I will always remember her birth more clearly than his, and I will always feel he and I missed out on a moment as I was strapped to a table with my guts hanging out.
• No matter how many babies you birth naturally, the hospital still treats you as a VBAC, and certain protocols (IV fluids, no food / drink, closely watching the clock, etc.) will apply.
• Narcotics do NOT work for me. Come on, who wouldn't try something in a 36 hour event?

(PS – New term learned with this experience? “Advanced Maternal Age” –seriously? Who, me?!)

When we found out we were pregnant with our third baby (AKA Miss Summer James), I thought long and hard about something Emme had suggested to me in one of her visits post-partum: based on what I learned in my experience with Cadel, and now that we really understood my labor pattern (long early labor, no use for meds) I should really consider a home birth for our 3rd. When we were 20 weeks along, and I had taken advantage of all of the testing and diagnostics available in western medicine for my own certainty that we had a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby, I made the decision to break up with my wonderful Park Nicollet Midwives, and have a home birth. Trillium Midwifery (Emme's practice) didn't have room for us in October of 2010, but Kim Garrett and her partners at Dearborn Midwifery (reco from Emme) did. In the end, we truly ended up with THE ACTUAL DREAM TEAM. Emme's schedule permitted her to be our doula. So at our birth we had: Ron, Emme, Kim, Jane, and Laura - WOW! These amazing women account for easily in the thousand if not thousands of births. (My hubby, not to brag, was also on his 3rd.) Lest the thousands comment makes these wonderful women sound old, please let me clarify that they are energetic, funny, hip women, who make me feel old (and we ALL know I'm a spring chicken, right?). I could go on and on about their accomplishments. Amazing. Women.

This brings me to not only my favorite child birth experience, but my FAVORITE DAY. Ever. In my life. I love the day I married my husband, and as cliché as it sounds, my very best friend. I love being a Mom, and treasure every day that I get to know my kids -- my Bigs and my Baby. I love Christmases, and first recitals, and amazing vacations, and first steps, and first lost teeth, and so many other moments. But to me, this day was so very amazing in a way that is likely to never be repeated. What characterized this day?

• An energy in myself that I hadn't yet tapped into until this point. The ability to talk and think clearly in my labor (beTWEEN contractions, of course!) and feel so so focused -- so much so that just a few hours before Summer joined us, Emme, who had been with me in all of my births questioned if I was even close enough to delivering to get into the birthing tub.
• The feeling that the hubby and I had accomplished something so incredibly special together. For the bulk of my 18-hour labor it was just the 2 of us. In the end, I nearly broke his arm as I pushed our baby out while laying on our bed. His name is on her birth certificate as the person who delivered her. Wow.
• Laying on the couch near the fire (our power went out mid-birth - she was welcomed to the world by candle light!) snuggling our beautiful healthy baby girl within an hour of her birth, and her proud big brother and sister quickly joining us at home with Grandma Scherer to meet baby sister and make complete our sweet family celebration.
• Peace, happiness, calm, quiet, beauty. All uninterrupted.
• Memories that remain so much more clear and tangible as time goes on because they took place in our home, where we are together as a family every day.

I feel so blessed to have had this joyful day one year ago. And even more so that Summer James is in our world now. Happy First Birthday to my amazing baby girl. Happy 'last first' to the whole Scherer family (PS - Ron, we SURVIVED!). Thank you to Emme, Jane, Kim and Laura. You women are amazing, and we feel lucky to know you.

It has been too long. Every time I sit down to blog, I'm overwhelmed by all of the wonderful things going on in life right now, and don't know where to start. So I'm sure I'll leave things out... but here goes!

Ullrich is 4 1/2 and just started back at pre-school. He is such a big kid now. He speaks to us with all of the logic he can muster, and often begins his case to me for whatever he's looking to have / do / etc. with a "Well. Mom. You know.... " So very serious. On the other hand, this kid is so silly and fun loving he brings us such humor and joy. I've never seen anyone bounce so much in the process of getting a statement out. Ullrich continues to show us a natural talent for all things verbal. He is now officially reading. He sounds out most words - words that are harder than one would think, and with out context. I am amazed at this. I get to go to preschool with him on Fridays this year, and can't wait to watch him in his school environment and be more a part of that.

Miss Cadel is 2 1/2 and is just fiery! She simply wants what she wants. We go head to head on a regular basis. She is exercising our patience and our grace, for sure. She is smart as a little whip as well. Cadel is able to play games of abstract logic such as "I spy" or "I'm thinking of". She also already has a sense of sarcasm, and can intentionally make cracks that make us laugh. Her favorite things are anything her brother is doing, animals, and Sleeping "Duty".

Both the kids were excited to start up in their next session of swimming lessons this month. Ullrich is swimming independently, and is very close to getting to the next level of progression. To our surprise, Cadel leveled up 2 levels and is also in a 'big kid' class this time. She is so excited and PROUD. I'm excited for both of them as they both really really love doing this. And it is something for just them as anticipation builds for the new baby.

We are ALL very excited to think about having a new baby in just about a month. Mommy and Daddy have a handful of odds and ends to complete to be totally ready for her arrival, but the big things are all in place. Ullrich and Cadel talk about her (and to her!) daily, and are really excited for their roles as the big brother and sister. Ullrich is especially excited that mom is taking "100 days" off of work. Cadel is excited to have someone smaller than her around... someone with less privileges than she has!

This pregnancy continues to go well. I've finally broken the 20 pound mark, which makes me a little sad, but I know that the weight coming on now is just what the baby needs, and somewhat beyond my control. I did what I could in the earlier parts of the pregnancy, I guess. This child is so very very active. She is by FAR my most active child in utero. We've been a little concerned with her position as she seems to flop from breech to transverse to head down so freely still. She has spent a lot of time in a transverse position, causing me some side aches. But it is so great to feel her and what is so neat is when you press on her from the outside how responsive she is. This is an experience that is completely new when compared to my other pregnancies. So we are already so intrigued to meet this new person and see what she's all about!

Some good kidisms of late:
Ullrich (to Nanny Kristen): I can't go to China. I don't speak Spanish.
Ullrich (regarding what he wants to do when he grows up): I want to work at LifeTouch (daddy's current client) so I can bring my own lunch.
Cadel (to Mommy, responding in kind): YOU are too smart for YOUR own good.
Ullrich (about what sport he wants to play this fall): I already know how to play soccer. I already know how to play baseball. I already know how to play tennis. I don't need to play any of those.

I'm sure there is much I'm forgetting... but wanted to get an updated post out here!

That's Spic a Boo!

Have I mentioned I love my kids? I can hardly stand how much amusement they provide me on a daily basis.

Even the bad is pretty darn adorable. Like my over-tired Cadel this afternoon... I had stopped home to pick up my phone (forgotten at home this morning), and on the way had stopped at Target for a few necessities. Well, somehow a couple of new Kumon workbooks ended up in my cart, including a first tracing book for Cadel to start to learn to write with a pencil. She was a little iffy in terms of her mood, so I probably shouldn't have tried to encourage her to try it, but I did. When I tried to show her how to use the pencil she yanked her arm away. I said "Mommy just wants to teach you how to hold it." She promptly answered gruffly "I'll teach myself!". Oh boy.

Ullrich continues to amaze with his non-stop hearing and retaining EVERYTHING. Last night he explained in detail to me Nanny Kristen's gall bladder surgery experience (which in the end culminated in a reason for the very large water bottle she carries around). She said he pretty much told me the entire story ver batim. And it is not as if they sit around talking gall bladders all day, people.

Perhaps the most adorable thing from him lately is the way he describes the most recent animated film "Despicable Me". First of all, they BOTH loved it. When you ask him what they saw, he tentatively says "Spic a Boo Me". Super adorable.

In funny Cadel statements lately, she has told me that she can't dry her hands because her rear is too big. Yes, that's right. It stems from me once telling her that I couldn't use her little potty seat because my rear was too big.

It is really cool having Nanny Kristen back this summer. One unexpected benefit -- the kids are getting exposed to more music. Lately, they have sung to me both "Ice Ice Baby" and "Yellow Submarine". They just shook their groove things at Music in the Park yesterday. I love it.

We have continued to enjoy the summer, and some of our favorite things have been going to Chutes and Ladders - the amazing park down the street, swimming at the Lifetime Fitness Pool, riding bikes - Ullrich got a new bike which is SUPER big boy - he is even using a hand brake!, and working in our garden. Our garden has yielded us green beans enough for 2 meals, and several peppers. Yesterday we picked 3 ripe cherry tomatoes - Ullrich and I LOVED them. Can't wait for more!

Cadel is 100% completely potty trained. It is super great - she can wear underwear out and about, and always tells us when she has to go potty. The only time she can't be relied upon is at night time or naps. And often she will wake up dry.

Babygirl #3 is SUPER active in Mom's belly. I can't believe we are going to meet her in just 15 weeks! I'm certainly not wishing the summer and fall away... these are our favorite times of year... but still, it is really fun to think about seeing our little girl for the first time, too! Ullrich and Cadel could not be more excited. They talk to my belly a lot. Ullrich tells her good night every night before bed. Soooo sweet.

June 2010

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I just want to go to...

Well, we are preparing for the holiday weekend (will it ever be here?!) and also preparing to say Goodbye to our cat, Misty. She is going to "visit" Heidee & Tory in Nebraska (as we tell the children). Mostly, we are giving her away because of her sudden complete disdain for our canines. Now, if she just didn't like them, we wouldn't really be so concerned. But her disdain is manifesting itself in 'packages' left for us through out the house. Unwanted packages.

I think all of our animals may soon be asked to find new homes if Ron has to clean poop off of one more surface.

When asked about Misty's little trip, Ullrich's first response was indignant: "But they've already MET Misty. If they want to see her, they can come HERE." His next was slightly more sympathetic: "Misty can't go to Nebraska. That's too far. She might get car sick. And die." (Coincidentally, this is what happened to Nanny Kristen's rat after the trip to Florida. When I tell Cadel that Misty is going to Nebraska she simply states: "And then she'll come back here." We feel bad for them, but not badly enough to keep the cat and her 'presents'.

My work, Best Buy Connect, is in the home stretch to go live. We hit stores on 7/11, and the press has already gotten ahold of some information. It's fun to see things unfolding. There were times we never thought we'd get there.

Here's a couple funny kidisms from recent days:
The other day, we were driving, and listening to 'Cadel songs'. Cadel songs (and Ullrich songs) are personalized CDs from www.nameyourtune.com. They basically take children's songs and plug your child's name in. And they go into the studio to record new names on request, so even MY kids get to have one! Anyway, there is a song that says "Oh I just want to go to (insert name)'s house..." Well, in a recording snafu, Cadel's says "Oh I just want to go to Bronte's house..." instead of her name. So it is our family joke that when things get rough, we say "I want to go to Bronte's house.". I happened to say that in the car. And someone said (Ron maybe?) that we don't know how to get there. Ullrich answered "We should just use GPS." Such a problem solver.

On the sweeter side, for the first time the other morning, Ullrich woke up to find his little sister all snuggled up next to him in his loft bed. She told us she woke up and got scared, so went and got into brother's bed. She was SO apparently pleased with this. We asked her if that made her feel better and she answered "Makes me smile..." with a huge grin on her face. That is something super cute she's doing right now -- telling us she is happy by saying "I'm smiling" with a big grin on her face. She did this also at the bike race in St. Cloud this past weekend. She LOVES and EATS UP crowd applause, which are always abounding in the kids' races, especially for the little ones like Del who take 30 minutes to go down a city block on their little wheels. Anyway, she was "racing" and looked to me and said "They cheer for me. I'm SMILING.". Ah... so sweet. Love her.

Okay - signing off for now!